She Makes The Meaning More Significant

mood: relieved
listening to: Los Campesinos!, The Sea is a Good Place to Think About the Future

I sat my last exam today - Religious, Moral and Philosophical Studies. I'm rather confident that I have succeeded in achieving the 'B' I need to go to university, but I was hoping for an 'A' because of the disaster that was History. I'm pretty sure I messed up paper 2 in the History exam and I don;t think my essays were strong enough to maintain a 'B' when the second paper is counted. I'm hoping that, at the very least, I get a 'C' in History so that I can call up the university and basically plead for them to accept me. I will reduce myself to begging if I have to - I am that desperate to go to Edinburgh in September.

Saying that, I still don't have a job, so even if I did get in I might not be able to afford it anyway. I was on the town centre website earlier looking at the job vacancies. I think tomorrow I will stop by the town centre, print off a few CVs and hand them in to the places that are currently hiring. I don't know what it is that I must be doing so wrong that I cannot even get an interview anywhere! I'm sure my CV looks fine, maybe I just don't seem keen enough. Maybe I've just been going about it all wrong.

I thought that this was the end of my stress until August, but not that I'm thinking about jobs 24/7 I can see myself getting stressed out again. I actually felt like death this morning following a minor freak-out during the night. Around one o'clock last night I had come to the conclusion that I was not ready for my RMPS exam, and began to go batshit crazy. I ended up not going to bed until near four o'clock and could not fall asleep straight away. It did not help that I had two drunk phone calls from my friend who did not know I had an exam that day. I had set my alarm for nine o'clock, intending to surface, get ready, study and then leave by twelve. My body woke me up at half seven. I went to my exam this morning with barely three hours sleep. I had to take a whole load of paracetamol before leaving the house to get rid of the terrible headache that felt like it was killing me. I am so glad my exams are over.


On a completely unrelated note: I made cupcakes today. Nicky and I are far too simple for complicated cake mixtures, so we bought the children's scooby doo cake mix. They were pretty damn yummy!